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Subway Trains

Subway Trains
By: Bridget Zhang

The window looks back at me as though I am the only girl.
Empty faces and footsteps.
No one bothers to look.
We sit across each other looking right pass each other’s eyes.
As though we are afraid to see faces.
But what if on those subway trains are the most human contact someone can get in a day.
What if that subway train is the last train that person is going to ride.
What if the same person, your eyes avoided, is only thinking about going under that train.
How would it feel to be under that train.
What if that homeless guy playing drums with empty buckets is the most talented musician?
And we all just walk by him as if he is no one.
No one stops to hear.
No one stops to look.
It’s all just footsteps and empty faces.
We pass through each other as if we are empty spaces.
Even the people closest to you cannot see you.
They make plans as you slowly disappear into the covers.
To face your darkness alone.
You become just an empty motion.
Yet, everyone can hear you scream at night.
No one cares.
What are screams?
We hide our deepest pain in the dark.
Flipping through photographs of our empty lives on one small device.
As if those pictures and those peoples actually mean something.
How many can you call right now?
Can you name a few?
I can’t.
I call no one.
In those dark nights.
I can only save myself.
Pulling the covers over my whole body as if I can just disappear from the world.
I never existed.
Yet, I walk through the day as if everyone can see through me.
Maybe they all read my words.
Maybe they all see my art.
Do you see the artist?
No one cares to study faces.
No one follows the crying girl into the bathroom stall.
As if those pictures are fabricated and waved into brainwashing ourselves into believing they are friends.
As if anyone actually means anything.
Push and shove.
Empty faces and footsteps.
We stare pass each other’s eyes.
We drink. We laugh.
The darkness is still ours alone.

Author:

Bridget Zhang is a dancer. performer. choreographer. teacher. writer. photographer. lover. daughter. granddaughter. niece. family. friend.

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